Henry Kissenger Subpoenaed To Testify in Trial of Chilean Dictator;
Extradition Likely, International War Crimes Charges Possible
Dow, Nasdaq Down; Elvis, Rasputin Sightings Up;
“Odd Couple” Spotted At Truck Stops Along I-80
George W. Bush Admits Being 3rd Grade Dropout;
“Fooled you!” Sez Prez
New York Decency Commission Plans Spontaneously Combust In Ring Of Heavenly Fire;
Guiliani Denies Any Possible Divine Intervention In City’s Latest Attack on The Arts
River Otter Elected Governor Of Ohio;
Swing “Cuteness Vote” Proves Decisive
Mr. Big Turns 14, Crawls Across Aquarium in Celebration
Sandwich Eats Annoying Restaurant Patron