I am more than fifty years past
being just five, but I’m trying
to remember how strange
the grown-up world was, how
the huge ones told us, “Do this.”
“Get over there.” “Right now!”
Some kids were reduced
to tears; some put a blank face
on fear. I remember that.
I remember someone pounding
on the door one night. At least
my mother was brave—not me.
I remember black and white
TV: children, uniforms, and wars,
but I was never forced to stand
in the cold without my father
while a man in a mask held me
from behind as I stared into
the salty black surface of dread.
Now I am old enough to know
history has no mercy for children—
when those in charge speak gun,
burn, and deportation, cameras find them
hands up from the ghetto, burned
by napalm, facing an unmarked car.
Matthew Murrey is the author of Little Joy (Cornerstone Press, 2026) and Bulletproof (Jacar Press, 2019). He was a public-school librarian for more than 20 years and lives in Urbana with his partner.