Newspoetry: Breaking News: US School Bombs Grammar

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16 November 2001

western hemisphere institute for security cooperation (whisc)
i mean what the hell is that? an adjective? did someone forget a connective or something? despite official claims that no other name could provide a sufficiently vague self-description while preserving the onomatopoeitic pun self-describing the school’s resurrection, a classified napkin has been leaked onto our wire, showing that military officials knew alternative names, grammatically correct, and yet they decided upon a name which flaunts the very linguistic standards by which we live. here are some of its contents:
whisque: western hemisphere institutionalized query uniformly evaluates
whssck: western hemisphere school for special countries kiosk
wiske: we isn’t slavin’ kid emigrants.
whisc: westerly hemispheric institute for securely cooperating
at the top of the napkin, scratched thru by several pen marks was the line: soarofl: ‘s over already? rofl!

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